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N+: Graphics Whores Untie!
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One Game Feature by MAtt Dujnic, 3/18/08
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'That's when the whores come in... doing their little behind-shake for the men folk...' - Boardroom Woman from Tommy Boy
The time has come to talk about whores. Graphics Whores, in particular. They're out there. Most of them live in shame. Like the guilty college liberal at the affirmative action rally, they dutifully chant slogans around gameplay and astute design, even though they'd rather be home chainsawing Locusts in high-def via the Unreal-Engine-powered Gears of War. They know that the highbrow psycho Berkeley-types of the game-criticism world have a hit out on them. They have been marginalized, shunned, ridiculed. To those Graphics Whores, I say, 'Come out, it's okay. We won't shun you. It's all right.'
And then once they're out in the open, I'd say, 'Ha, psyche! You suck! Undereducated ignorant apes! Take your monosyllabic mouthbreathing ass back to the gaming slums of shallow hackfests and repetitive mind numbing misery! I may be pretentious, but at least my games rule!' And then I'd kick them in the nuts and boot up N+.
N+ is about as close as you can come to a text-based adventure on the Xbox 360. All right, no, it's not text-based, but the visuals are, very clearly, minimal. It's a two-dimensional platformer stripped down to the bone. You are a little 2D ninja. Jump. Cling to walls. Grab treasure. Hit the switch to open the exit. And then exit. Your obstacles are pure geometry, be they plain grey platforms or the circle-things that hunt you down. No frills; it's pure, fun, addictive - a platforming addict's dream. That Gears of War thing would never survive such a stripdown. Most games wouldn't be games at all without their overblown presentation.
N+ is not the first on its block in this modern era. Other mainstream releases have gone with simple graphics, but never to this extreme. Geometry Wars Retro Evolved comes to mind, but in truth, that game kowtowed to Graphics Whores in its own way. Sure, your enemies were mere circles and squares, but it overcompensated with an ejaculation of particle effects and high-speed lightshows to satisfy the slackjaws. N+, with its plain grey, appeals to the refined platformer palette. N+ exposes the pretenders and apologists who hide in our midst behind dutiful talk of gameplay and design. In my book, if any hardcore gamer balks at N+, then they have exposed a closet Graphics Whore, and must be shunned, shunned, shunned.
Believe me, it's for the best, because in the next round of the gaming zeitgeist, no Graphics Whores will be welcome. We, who have always flown the flag of gameplay -- N+'s success proves that we are winning. Those slaves to their photoreal gorefests and action-movie-style homosexuality (see: Army of Two), will have nowhere to go. They will drown in gloriously rendered gaming misery, and only we will remain. We, the Gameplay Whores. We play hard, we play hard.
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'Graphics Whores Untie!'
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#&rendershop#
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